


Heal

by parchmentandpencils



Category: Nevermoor Series - Jessica Townsend
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Gen, Hurt, Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27233335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parchmentandpencils/pseuds/parchmentandpencils
Summary: B a s i c a l l y Mog angst multiplied by 10,000? Pretty dark and also Jupidad because we love him a lot. (if you dont i disown you)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Heal

Insanity. 

It was the jumbled thoughts, all in a rush to exit her head, all scrambling for dominance. It was the rush of cold that invaded her skull, searching everywhere for traitorous nooks and crannies it could embed itself in. It was the shivers that racked her body every time she was alone in her bedroom, every shaky breath where she stared at her hands and wondered if she was really there, if she was really real. It was the subtle touches that drove everyone mad, that made her be sure that she was tangible, that she wasn't simply a ghost inhabiting the place she thought of as home. 

Yes, Morrigan Crow was going insane.

* * *

It was on a day in July when Jupiter found Morrigan curled up on the floor next to her mirror, eyes unseeing yet focused, legs trembling and arms completely still. Jupiter stretched out opposite her, leaning against the wall yet alert as ever. He didn't say anything as she slowly came to from a sharp pain in her ankle, he just simply looked at her. And she, him. No words were said for a few minutes, yet Jupiter seemed like he understood. 

"Jupiter. Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter," she mumbled like a lifeline, slowly reaching forward to fist hands into his shirt.

He held her close, content in letting her mumble his name for as long as she needed. Eventually, she pulled back. Her mind was clearer, as though she needed that comfort desperately, to begin to heal, or to feel. Anything to get rid of the abyss-like blankness. 

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. 

Jupiter frowned. "What for?" 

Morrigan was silent for a while, before replying in a voice not much more than a whisper. "For… for that." 

"Never apologise, Mog."

"Did you do something? I feel good. Better, actually." She managed to get a laugh out of her throat where it had been lodged all morning. It was slightly hysterical, but it was a laugh all the same. 

Then Jupiter got up to leave and her mind clouded again.

* * *

It was a few days of wandering around, feeling like she was walking through a dream, mind hazy, that Morrigan found herself on the balustrade. She dangled her legs over the side and felt the wind sweep through her hair. And the feeling of her shoes slapping against the wall rhythmically and the feeling of the short, sharp gusts of wind that made her shiver physically made her mind flutter. Just a little. But it was enough. She could have stayed there all day, but she'd promised to help with decorating for a party for the summer. So, with a mournful sigh, she set off to find Frank.

* * *

When Cadence was taken by the ghastly market, Morrigan couldn't breathe. She'd taken to gripping her hair and tugging on the strands, taking comfort in the sharp pains it caused when she tugged a little too hard, the feelings it caused deep within. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, so sorry,  _ Cadence _ ," the last part came out as half whine, half whimper, and she curled up by the fire and tried to find herself, centre herself. 

_ Why wasn't anything working _ ? 

She dragged herself on her hands and knees down to Jupiter's study, where the door flew open and he gathered her trembling form into her arms, not daring to let go, to lose her once again to the fog that retreated to the corners of her mind, watching, waiting patiently. For her to be alone. For her to be vulnerable once more. 

"I'm so sorry," she whimpered into his shoulder. "I couldn't- I tried-" 

Jupiter tried to calm her down, tell her it wasn't her fault, she was not to blame, Cadence was in a bad place at a bad time, but Morrigan was too far gone to listen. So he lightly pinched her upper arm and the sharp pain brought her to her senses. He cupped her face in his larger hands and repeated his words, at which point Morrigan lost it and began to sob. She tried to make herself smaller but it wasn't working,  _ why wasn't it working, she needed to get away, away from here, away from Nevermoor, away from everywhere, away, away, away, aw _ -

"I'm right here." 

The three words took away the thought track she had been unconsciously entertaining, and she gave a short, sharp nod and tried to exit the room. 

"Mog." She turned back around. Jupiter was looking more serious than she'd ever seen him. "I mean it. Even at 2am, I will be right here for you."

* * *

Jupiter didn't go on any more expeditions that year. At least, not without her. And her mind stayed wonderfully clear. Which she enjoyed with a peace she'd never truly felt, since fear had lurked everywhere in the past few years. As she shook the snow off her gloves that December, Morrigan leaned against her bedroom wall and smiled. For once, it was a happy smile, one with genuine meaning. And Jupiter, standing in her doorway, understood. 

Morrigan breathed the first words that came to mind. " _ Thank you. _ " 

He gave a tiny nod and strode away, leaving Morrigan staring at the empty doorway, allowing hope to expand in every fibre of her being. 


End file.
